Allahabad High Court has telepathic power!

In a landmark ruling that finally gives clairvoyants a shot at law school, the Allahabad High Court has declared that even ‘unsaid words’ can promote enmity. Yup, judiciary has officially entered the realm of telepathy. Rejecting a plea to reject an FIR filed for obscenity in public, provoking breach of peace and criminal intimidation via a WhatsApp message, the bench, in their finite wisdom, managed to read a mind. This is a stunning breakthrough in cognitive research.

Evidence, intent and context can now be seen as digressions. Vibes alone can now prosecute. No longer do courts have to be shackled by the tyranny of actual speech. Why wait for someone to say something inflammatory when ‘unsaid words’ and a ‘subtle message’ are already spotted by folks who can sniff out these sort of things? That emoji of an eggplant with a clenched fist? Seditious. The ‘hmm’ typed but deleted? Treasonous. The group chat you left without explanation? A digital hate crime. This ruling raises minor concerns—like tossing out of free expression, weaponisation of ambiguity and that nuance is no longer a protective sheath. But in the age of digital justice, it’s not what you say, but also what you don’t say, might say, or almost said that could get you in hot water. But hang on, by saying ‘hot water’, is this column insinuating the passage of ‘hot air’?