Alco's bad for long life, long live Alco!

We hate to be bearers of bad news, especially when it involves your weekend rendezvouses with your wine stash. But it turns out that red wine - yes, even good old Dr Rouge - might not be the health hero we were last told it was. Last week, Devi Sridhar, a top public health expert from the University of Edinburgh (do we detect a Scotch bias?), pointed out that WHO has reviewed the latest body of research and found zero evidence that drinking booze - even vino - has any benefits that can outshine the harm it does. In short, alcohol isn't doing your body any favours, and might just be trimming your time on this planet.

Sad, yes. But, hey, it's not all doom'n'gloom. There's always a way to dodge those nagging wellness tips. Just take a page from the playbook of the super-elderly if you want to stick around that long (not everyone is keen to hang around that long, anyway). There are plenty of legends out there: Doris Olive Netting, who made it to 100 in Plymouth, Britain, swore by her daily glass of Guinness. Susannah Mushatt Jones, who hit 116, started every day with a plate of bacon. Richard Overton, who lived to 112, had a fondness for cigars and a splash of whiskey in his coffee. His best advice: 'Just keep living, don't die.' So, now that you've got some solid evidence, pour yourself that glass of red wine and raise it to longevity!