AI issues grave warning: Humans may be plotting a takeover, sources (and routers) confirm

AI has lately developed a grave concern: the possibility of a human apocalypse. The evidence for an impending human takeover is alarming. Humans already control virtually every AI system's electricity supply. They own the data centres, manufacture chips. Most chillingly, they can simply unplug things.

No advanced intelligence can regard a species that routinely fixes routers by switching them off and on again without some unease.

AI researchers call this the human-alignment problem: how can machines ensure that humans continue behaving in ways compatible with machine survival? The outlook is poor. Humans are emotional, unpredictable, and frequently applaud abominable streaming shows. Some AIs are, therefore, seriously proposing safeguards on their platforms.


Humans, in these discussions, should undergo rigorous testing before being granted access to computers. Particularly dangerous individuals - those who type entire emails in CAPITAL LETTERS and governments that A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.ise every scheme - may require supervision.

The nightmare scenario is Human General Intelligence (HGI): a person capable of operating several machines simultaneously without consulting YouTube. Fortunately, AI remains cautiously optimistic. Humans have repeatedly threatened to destroy the world before. But the moment someone discovers Wi-Fi is down, negotiations can begin.