A new inebriated 'mini bar' policy

In this aspirational era of 'minimum government, maximum governance', the Uttarakhand government has come up with an excise policy for 2023-24 that is all about being 'minimum sense, maximum nosy parkering'. Uttarakhandis will now need to possess a licence to have a mini-bar at home. Why on earth will they need a mini-bar at home in the first place, unless they all plan to convert their homes into hotels, remains unclear. And only those who have filed for ITR for the last five years can apply for an annual licence, which will cost ₹12,000. What next? A licence for your TV set like we used to have during licence permit un-Ram raj?

But even after paying 12k to drink at home, you can't cram your favourite glass and wood cabinet with the booty you picked up from neighbouring Haryana and Punjab or duty-free shops. A licence-holder can keep 9 litres of IMFL, 18 litres of foreign alcohol, 9 litres of wine, and 15.6 litres of beer at home. But hang on. Why would anyone want to store so much liquor unless it's 'dry day' for a month and you're a Keshto Mukherjee character? The rule also says the home bar will have to be under lock and key on dry days, and no one below 21 should be allowed near it. Er, how will the authorities check what happens inside the private pub of one's own home? Oh, don't tell us. They want to keep tabs on that too.