A new Fang-led vaccination idea

Grab your garlic and crucifixes. Count Dracula’s lair is now open as a vaccination centre. Romania’s Bran Castle, home to the eponymous character in Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel, is offering free Pfizer shots to visitors. And here’s the second-best part: perforation of the skin is being rendered by nurses sporting stickers with bloody fangs. The freshly vaccinated will not be drained of blood but will be given a tour of Bran’s exhibit of 52 medieval torture instruments. Does this all read like a giant red flag to you? Don’t worry — unless you’re trypanophobic, that is, afraid of needles — since the castle is just a theme park dedicated to Vlad Tepes, the real-life 15th century Wallachian warlord and defender against the Turks on whom Bram stoked his Dracula.

For most of us suckers here in India, this isn’t a bad idea — not going to Romania, but getting free punctures at temples. This new-fang-led approach in what are essentially theme parks dedicated to deities may be India’s best shot at vaccinating its population. But to deliver the vaccine, one must have vaccine. Which brings us to another Transylvanian idea: the authorities looking into the mirror and recognising that, worryingly for us terrified village folks, there is no reflection of their presence. As the Count would have said, ‘Don’t count your doses before they are available.’