5 things MPs can do if they're free

Non-statutory warning: This is not to give ideas to parliamentarians to disrupt parliamentary proceedings, but what an MP can do if the House is adjourned and there is time to kill:

Acrobatics: Practise some political gymnastics before returning to the Big Top when session restarts. From flip-flopping on important issues to executing gravity-defying U-turns, practice makes it perfect.

Mime: As seasoned experts in expressing their views without actually saying anything substantial, MPs are natural Marcel Marceaus. No need to paint your face.


Drama: The theatre of the absurd is certainly back in fashion. How about attending a Waiting for Godot or Charandas Chor drama workshop? Samuel Beckett and Habib Tanvir would have been chuffed.

Comedy roasts: Who needs standup when politicians have a natural flair for delivering sizzling insults?

Puzzles: The puzzle of passing crucial Bills in the Parliament used to be baffling once. Now they pass undebated, undiscussed. Try the real posers to get a feel of old times.

Parliamentary non-goings-on may exasperate the nation, but disruptions, non-functioning and dysfunctioning keep our politics lively. Legislation and talking about affairs of the nation is all very well. But, honestly, do they give us a thrill?