Whisky tastes best with a splash of water

Those who dumped 18,000 litres of blended Scotch whisky into a water-treatment plant near Dumbarton, Scotland, in late February were probably not driven by an intention to do their bit to reinject some real spirit into the flagging Western economy.

Nor should the incident be seen as evidence of the workers’ opinion on the quality of the alcohol, even though the implication is that they could not actually distinguish between vats of bulk whisky and receptacles of waste water, which was what should have been flushed into the plant in the first place.

The accidental splash down the drain may have cost the company half a million pounds and accompanying heartburn, but since much of the British Isles are still in the throes of winter weather, a warming dose in the local waterway may not have been unwelcome. The inhabitants would have probably welcomed the whisky wash downstream with quaichs at the ready.

In the event, not even the piscine natives of the Leven River — trout, bream, perch, ruffe and even salmon — had the pleasure of swimming in it as the company denied any of the whisky had reached natural water bodies.

The question is, what treatment the whisky got at the plant — was it recycled back into use or did the “angels’ share” suddenly rise? In any case, Scotch traditionally tastes best with a splash of water.