What if the Universe suddenly puts on weight and collapses?

All those who tend to approach weighing machines with heavy hearts — a state that adds to the scale of their woes if not the actual reading — now have just cause to blame their stars. Indeed, they could not be faulted for believing that the whole universe is conspiring against them to tip the scales, going by a layman’s view of recent scientific research. Mathematicians and physicists have been quibbling for years about whether the universe is expanding or contracting — or both simultaneously, a possible duality that is sadly denied to mere weight-watchers — but news that the universe may be about to collapse under its own weight is another ballgame. More so as scientists aver that a “phase transition” in celestial forces is bound to make every tiny particle billions of times heavier, leading to all matter collapsing into a small, hot and super heavy ball. Of course, imminence when applied to the universe can mean a few million years.

However, it cannot be denied that if everything in the heavens will indeed get heavier, then the equally inexorable phenomenon of mere mortals helplessly piling on the pounds becomes understandable. However, since this theory is based on known elements, even one new particle could change the predicted outcome totally, so giving up on diets in anticipation of certain annihilation is not a good idea.