To be shrouded from familiar influence

As if covering gigantic stone statues of elephants in Uttar Pradesh was not bizarre enough, if the Election Commission (EC) agrees to a Congress request to hide lotus ponds in poll-bound Madhya Pradesh so that they do not unduly influence voters towards the BJP, entire stretches of India could be shrouded or locked away come the general elections.

Sanitation may suffer if Delhi’s citizens are forbidden to wield brooms till after election day, and people in Haryana may have to stop wearing their spectacles too. Bicycles would be off the roads, planes grounded, tractors stalled, and chairs, pumps, umbrellas, shells, hammers, sickles, spades, bows and arrows, lanterns and many more would need to be hidden from impressionable voters.

All Indians — or, indeed, anyone living here of any age — would have to wear mittens or oven gloves given that the Congress symbol is inherent in every human being, registered voter or not.

Not only would the EC — or whoever they direct — have to spend a fortune implementing this “cover-up”, the CAG would criticise the expenses thus incurred. To resolve such fears, perhaps all political parties should be told to design amorphous logos and the existing ban on current animal species (sans the elephant) and weapons as election symbols should be extended to include all familiar items.