The Taliban do love cricket and Pakistan!

No matter what calamity the Taliban in Pakistan visits upon the denizens of that country, all Pakistanis should praise the Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) because they are Pakistani. Well, that’s the logic, whatever there is, of what the TTP has to say on the matter of relative praise for Sachin Tendulkar and Pakistan’s cricket captain, Misbah-ul-Haq.

A spokesman of this extremely enlightened and utterly patriotic group has just informed the Pakistani media, and all citizens, that though Misbah may be a “substandard and low-level player”, they should praise him, and not that pesky irritant of a genius called Tendulkar — because he is a demon-Indian. And the little Indian champ is demon-like for the noble and pious TTP because he subverts Pakistani nationalism by making many Pakistanis worship him at the altar of cricket. The situation, clearly, had gotten out of hand and sorely needed this corrective.

Remember, the TTP sought to make that corrective because, quite rightly, praising the God of cricket is blasphemy when a suitable low-level Pakistani player exists. It is, as they rightly said, “against Pakistani nationalism and loyalty to the country” — both virtues the TTP has gloriously come to exemplify. Now, the poor Pakistanis had better listen. Or the TTP might send someone to, er, bat for Misbah.