The new conservatives: How the woke became what they oppose

We don't just live in polarised times, but at a time when being polarised is considered part of one's identity. Conservatism, we are told, is the instinct to preserve tradition. Yet, the woke have perfected a parallel instinct: to preserve orthodoxy, only under different parameters. The right-wing clutches its rosary beads of family, faith and flag. The woke clutch theirs of pronouns, diversity and perpetual 'anti-ism'. Both demand conformity. Both punish deviation. Both find mantras and slogans reassuring. Both, in effect, are conservative.

Take censorship. The right-wing demands bans on movies, food items, books, even 'looks' that offend its sensibilities, whether on religion, sexuality (under the garb of 'values') or sheer aesthetics. The woke, with equal fervour, ban content that stumbles on the latest linguistic or 'acceptability' tripwire. The mechanism is identical: ostracism and outrage dressed in ideological couture. 'Cancel culture' is the conservative excommunication ritual that tries to look cool. Consider 'safe spaces'.

The left-liberal insists on them as shelters from offensive ideas. The right insists these to be sanctuaries from offensive people. Both are fortresses against contamination, both defining 'decency' in their own non-negotiable way. And when the woke declare certain words verboten, they echo the right's moral policing. One side's insistence on sticking to an 'amoral' code is another side's fervour for morality. The militant vegan and the combative anti-meat brigade are two sides of the same burger. The vocabulary may be radically different. But the instinct remains: control.


So, the terms 'right-wing' and 'left-liberal' are increasingly facetious. They prop up the illusion of polarity while concealing the sameness of their conservatism. One guards the temple of tradition, the other guards the clubhouse of progressivism. But both demand obedience to dogma. The irony is that the woke, in their zeal to be radical, are really conservative cousins - the new orthodoxy exchanging withering looks with the old.