Grill room

Even if Indian investigative agencies cannot be readily commended for their conviction rates — their success on that count is usually rare — their healthy approach towards procedural aspects in general needs to be appreciated. They always only grill, after all. Unfortunately, even then the results are not always palatable.

Of course, some may quibble about why the sleuths cannot widen their repertoire to include equally low fat adjectival alternatives such as boiling, poaching, or roasting but the short answer would be that none of these would have such a searing impact on those being interrogated. Barbecuing may achieve the same effect but since it is best done in the open air, maintaining confidentiality is difficult and too many reporters get a whiff of what’s cooking.

When it comes to toasting, there is always a danger of unpleasant surprises popping up, and the quick and continuous movements usually needed for sauteeing can render it difficult for a lumbering government agency to execute. Roasting requires constant twists and turns and is therefore not naturally preferred by those who are used to getting their outcomes with minimum physical effort.

Stir-fry is an shortcut option, but its suspicious Chinese allusions can prove uncomfortable when it comes to the crunch. Pressure (cooking) tactics, can prove counterproductive, for while it notionally saves time too, it often reduces the contents to a pulp without extracting anything worthwhile. On the other hand, there is nothing quite as bad as being damned by faint braise either: a tasteless, long-drawn-out outcome, due to inadequate power and fluctuating heat.

The hardest criticism of all for the CBI to stomach, however, should be the conclusion that no matter how long it grills, the result is inevitably half-baked .