Forget superheroes; a silent army is keeping watch over us

There is a reason why formulaic cinema, formulaic art, formulaic books, formulaic music, not to mention formulaic mass media, work so well in this country. Because anything falling outside the basic parameters of The Formula will be bound to upset someone somewhere to the point of making him go bonkers. Which is why there are people with the onerous duty of ensuring that nothing upsets anyone. How do they do that? By blocking things even before they can upset anybody. Ergo, they are the guardians of our public taste.

The latest devilish thing spotted before it could destroy the nation is the Punjabi film Kaum de Heere (Diamonds of the Community) by Ravinder Ravi. We haven’t seen the movie, obviously. But after reading formulaic news reports, we have learnt two facts: one, the CBI discovered that the Central Board of Film Certification (read, Censor Board) CEO Rakesh Kumar had taken a bribe to ‘clear’ the movie in June.

Two, that the film is a biopic of Indira Gandhi’s assassins — whose names we won’t reprint lest it triggers communal tension.

So, the good folks of the home ministry, after being tipped off by the intelligent folks of the Intelligence Bureau, told the nice folks of the I&B ministry, who, in turn, got those careful folks of the censor board to nip the flick in the bud.

Once again, the nation has been saved. Hurrah!