EU outlaws olive oil on restaurant tables without labelled bottles

In a perfect — read, EU-decreed — world, there would be no bendy bananas or crooked cucumbers, but then, we are but human, and they are but plants, so imperfection is inevitable. But that clearly does not prevent the indefatigable mandarins in Brussels from trying to make uniformity out of chaos, whether it is the length of sausages or the driving capabilities of diabetics. The latest diktat — outlawing olive oil on restaurant tables in anything but labelled bottles complete with safety spouts — is yet another example of this yen for order. The ostensible reason is to prevent the cheaper, “unmarked” — and, therefore, unsafe — imports from non-European producers being passed off as the real thing.

Clearly, the airline tray aesthetic — wherein everything is presented in its original packaging, albeit in single-serving size — is the ideal style guide for the Brussels babus when they think of dining out. The fear arises if they decide that bread must be served in the same way or, barring that, the diners must be given proof of the provenance of its constituent elements. And, if that goes for water and condiments generally visible on tables too, it will not be long before there is a decree that entire meals should come similarly signposted so that consumers know exactly what they are ingesting. Safety über alles.