Ambiguities cloud the spyscape

In the cloak and dagger world of international espionage , the usual players — the stuff of many a Hollywood hit/ best seller — have been Russian and English speakers, give or take a smattering of obscure East European languages.

However, sometimes, the term alien tongue takes an unusually literal turn. In a dramatic development, Russian President Dimitri Medvedev has been asked by a member of parliament to investigate: whether the President of the former Soviet Republic of Kalmykia, Mr Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, had passed on state secrets to yellow spacesuit-clad humanoid aliens who had dropped in at his Moscow apartment some years ago and had given him a guided tour of a spaceship. How such information was passed on to alien agents boggles the mind particularly since Mr Ilyumzhinov's comment was not very illuminating : “I am often asked which language I used to talk to them. Perhaps it was on a level of the exchange of ideas.”

That last bit is what causes consternation, as so much about this close encounter is up in the air. Are there any established rules regarding the parameters of such bilateral exchanges? Did he come clean on the episode to Moscow ? Had the aliens approached him on matters other than Kalmykia-Russia relations? Such as the internal matters of the International Chess Federation (FIDE), perhaps, of which Mr Ilyumzhikov is also the head?

What blandishments could extra-terrestrials have offered him in lieu of information — a victory over Anatoly Karpov to continue as president of FIDE? And what sort of information would be regarded as classified anyway, when it comes to visitors from another galaxy? Without clarity on these matters, deciding his culpability in passing on official secrets would become very difficult. Unless, of course, extraterrestrial help is forthcoming!