'We'll live happily ever after, we have retirement funds, & bifocals': Why do Indian films show parents and grandparents as babysitters but rarely as people with love lives?

Jeanie and James lie in bed in each other's arms, catching their breath after a night of what one assumes was breathless sex. 'We're like Romeo and Juliet,' she says, gazing dreamily into the distance. 'Except we're old. And we're gonna live happily ever after. And we have retirement funds. And bifocals.'

Clearly, Jeanie and James are not your conventional romantic screen pair. They're a couple of seniors who go on a blind date and marry 6 weeks later in the new US streaming series Newlyweds. With the charismatic 60-year-old Tea Leoni and 70-year-old Tim Daly playing the leads, backed by writing shorn of ageist condescension, the result - in the episodes dropped so far - is a sweet, light-hearted show.

Watching Jeanie and James got me wondering for the zillionth time why so few Indian films and series are romantic relationship sagas of people past 60, played by actors past 60. Hema Malini was in her 50s when she starred with Amitabh Bachchan in 2003 in Baghban (Hindi), which is usually cited in this context. Exceptions like Pookkaalam (Malayalam) in 2023, with Vijayaraghavan and KPAC Leela, are precisely that - exceptions.


A major reason why such films are uncommon is that most veteran male stars who remain popular as leads in Indian commercial cinema avoid playing characters of their actual age. Bachchan is a rarity who changed tracks in 2000, after a decade of missteps, and found adventurous, talented writer-directors.

For the rest, the fear of being perceived as senior citizens extends to an aversion to romances with women their age. This is among multiple factors that contribute to the lower average longevity of female stars, who are forced to shift to supporting roles and being character artistes much earlier. This, in turn, means that scriptwriters tend not to conceptualise romances with specific veteran female stars in mind, since producers are unlikely to greenlight them.

The combined effect of these circumstances is that credible autumnal romances are hard to come by. This leads to a self-perpetuating drought such that even if a male actor in his 60s, 70s, 80s or above wants to consistently play characters his age, the choice of scripts is limited.

But there is more to this situation than the insecurities of India's male superstars, and ageist attitudes towards women. After all, Hollywood, the international film industry that Indians follow most closely, is no paradise for women, as female stars have testified in interviews over time. Yet, Hollywood churns out a steady stream, even if not a deluge, of films and shows - across genres, including romances - revolving around seniors, including women.

Sample the following from just the past decade: Meryl Streep's entire filmography; Grace and Frankie in which Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin play seniors whose lives are up-ended when their respective husbands fall in love with each other; the romantic drama, Our Souls At Night, featuring Fonda and Robert Redford; Hacks, starring the septuagenarian Jean Smart as a comedy queen; the legal series, The Good Fight, headlined by the now-septuagenarian Christine Baranski; A Man On The Inside, led by Ted Danson, who is nearing 80.

Indian popular entertainment, on the other hand, mirrors an India that's socially and culturally attuned to viewing our parents and grandparents merely as extensions of ourselves, rather than complete people in their own right with dreams, sex drives, and career plans. It appears that the 4 ashramas (stages) of life as prescribed in Hindu scriptures - brahmacharya, grihastha, vanaprastha, and sanyas - are so deeply ingrained in our collective psyche across religious communities, that the resultant mindset governs the country's film and TV industries.

When your head is geared towards seeing Mom and Dad, Grandma and Granddad, solely as retirees, counsellors and babysitters to your babies, it's hard to picture them like Jeanie and James, wrapped in each other's arms after breathless sex. Wait...what?! Mom and Dad had sex?!!! [*she asks and faints*]