Managing stresses

By Peter Bregman


Think of stress as a monster, who lives in your body and feeds on uncertainty. The monster’s most satisfying meal starts with the sentence, “What will happen if…?”

What will happen if that presentation fails? What will happen if one of the projects I am working on runs into objections? What will happen if I don’t have enough time to finish my budget?

As the uncertainty grows, so does the monster. Eventually, the pressure to escape the confines of your body proves too great. Many of us try to manage or ignore our stress. We attempt to push it down, put it aside, breathe through it or rise above it. But that’s a mistake. All those responses only encourage the monster to grow unfettered and, usually, unnoticed.

Eventually, without fully understanding why, we get sick or explode or burn out. There’s a better solution: do not try to manage your stress. Instead, dance with it. The monster wants out? Let it out. But do so on your terms. You may need to cope for a moment, just until you can get to a place where you have privacy. Then, when you know there will be no adverse consequences, let the monster have you.

Free yourself to kick and scream and punch. Feel what it’s like to completely lose control. Stress is, ultimately, about trying to control that which you can’t. So trying to control your stress is one more thing that increases your stress. Physically releasing the stress on your terms helps.

From “The Best Way to Defuse Your Stress”.