Vive la resolution!

The company board resolves: Next year, we'll be more transparent.

The marketing team interprets this as: we'll buy glass office walls.

The IT team interprets it as: we'll leak all passwords.


The legal team interprets it as: we'll deny everything, but in clear font.

By January, the company is both bankrupt and oddly well-lit.

Budget Meet

A CFO stands up at the year- end meeting and says, 'We've cut costs so aggressively that next year we'll save millions.'

CEO [beams]: Excellent! Where did we cut?

CFO: Mostly in accounting. We no longer have accountants.

CEO frowns: But who calculated the savings?

CFO: Oh, that was outsourced to a psychic AI app. It said we'd be profitable in the Year of the Goat.

Odd Audit, Indeed

Auditors ask: Where are your financial records?

CEO replies: We shredded them for sustainability.

Auditors: That's not sustainable.

CEO: It is if you sell the shredded paper as artisanal confetti. We're pivoting to the wedding industry.