Time-tested startup

A Bengaluru-based startup launched ChronoCoin, a cryptocurrency backed by minutes. You could buy 30 secs of someone's attention, or 5 mins of existential dread. Investors loved it. 'Finally, a way to monetise procrastination!'

Then came the crash. Someone tried to short eternity.

Now, the founders live in a time loop, pitching the same deck to the same VC every Tuesday at 3.17 p.m.


Company Chair

After years of being sat on, one ergonomic chair achieved sentience. It rolled into the boardroom and declared, 'I've supported this company longer than any of you.'

It fired the CEO and replaced quarterly reports with lumbar metrics.

Shareholders were sceptical - until dividends arrived in memory foam. Now, the company's motto is: 'Sit down. Shut up. Profit'.

Spirited Recovery

A corporate budget, tired of being cut, escaped the spreadsheet and wandered into the Himalayas. It meditated, renounced Excel and achieved enlightenment.

When the CFO found it, it whispered into his ear, 'True value lies not in numbers but in vibes.' The company rebranded as a 'feeling-based enterprise'. Revenue plummeted, but employee chakras aligned.

Now they sell scented balance sheets and host quarterly jaagrans.