Professional protester

A man proudly tells his neighbour, 'I've attended 412 protests this year.' 'Good heavens,' says the neighbour. 'You must feel passionately about many issues.'

Protester: Not really. I just enjoy standing in crowds where someone else has already printed the placards.

Neighbour: So, what causes have you supported?


Protester: I honestly don't know. Once I arrived late and accidentally marched with people demanding lower taxes. I realised midway I'd parked in the premium parking lot reserved for the campaign to increase public spending.

Neighbour: Didn't anyone notice?

Protester: No. Every time someone asked why I was there, I shouted, 'Exactly!'

Neighbour: What happened in the end?

Protester: They asked me to join the organising committee.

Counter-Protest

A city hosts two protests in the same park. One group chants, 'We demand change!' The other chants, 'We oppose change!'

The loudspeakers accidentally get swapped. Soon, the first group is enthusiastically shouting, 'We oppose change!' The second is roaring, 'We demand change!' Nobody notices.

TV commentators declare it 'a fascinating evolution in public opinion'. Political analysts write 2,000-word essays explaining the shift. Pollsters find no difference.

The protesters all go home convinced they'd made history. The only confused person is the fellow selling whistles. 'Yesterday, everyone bought whistles to make noise.'

'What about today?'

'They bought quieter whistles so the other side couldn't hear them.'