Pencil that into the FTA

Two countries sign a trade deal that requires renegotiation every Tuesday. Diplomats meet weekly, argue about tariffs on pencils, and adjourn.

After 20 yrs, the only product traded is coffee consumed during negotiations. The deal is declared a success on social media: both sides are caffeinated, nobody has gone to war, and the pencil industry remains gloriously unregulated.

WTO Cow Tow


India and Switzerland strike a deal: India will export cows, Switzerland will export chocolate. The cows arrive in Zurich, eat all the chocolate, and promptly refuse to return.

Switzerland complains. India replies: 'That's not a breach of contract, that's cultural assimilation.' WTO rules in favour of the cows, who now demand voting rights. India, again, erupts, saying: 'WE WON!'

Fish-for-Phones Pact

Japan offers fish to Brazil in exchange for smartphones. Brazil complains about the fish smell. Japan complains the phones don't swim. After months of stalemate, both sides agree to exchange sushi for selfies. The deal is hailed as 'historic'. Until everyone realises Instagram already existed.