Levelled playing field

Foreign investors were fleeing the market so quickly that economists stopped calling it 'capital outflow', and started checking departure gates. Fund managers dumped shares, sold bonds, converted everything into dollars before breakfast.

The government calmly explained that this demonstrated the economy's excellent liquidity: investors could leave extremely efficiently. The stock exchange called the sell-off 'healthy profit-taking'. A brokerage upgraded the market from 'Buy' to 'Buy eventually'.

By Saturday, the last foreign investor was spotted at immigration carrying 3 Nasdaq terminals and a suitcase. Domestic investors immediately celebrated. There were now even less people to frighten away.

Inflation 101

A man complained to an economist that everything had become expensive.

Man: My morning coffee used to cost ₹100. Now it's ₹180.

Economist: That is partly inflation.

Man: My landlord has raised my rent 30%.

Economist: Asset-price pressures.

Man: My salary hasn't increased at all.

Economist: Wage stickiness.

Man [staring]: So basically everything I buy gets more expensive, while the one thing I sell - my labour - doesn't?

Economist: It's not that bad. From a theoretical perspective, you're participating in a fascinating macroeconomic adjustment.

Man: Can I pay my rent with that?

Economist: Don't be daft.