Leaving for inner peace

A CEO announced his resignation mid-quarter, saying that 'certain happenings and practices were not in congruence with my personal values and ethics', adding that he wanted to 'pursue mindfulness'.

The board applauded, until they realised he had taken the company's meditation app with him. Shareholders panicked. 'Our assets are now in adho mukha svanasana!' a statement that an NRI had to be explained was the 'downward dog' yogic position. The CFO tried to calm everyone by chanting 'Om'. But the auditors demanded an inquiry (read: translation).

Quitting in Haiku


An executive submitted her resignation in haiku:

'Quarterly targets fail,

Spreadsheets whisper betrayal,

I choose freedom now.'

HR spent three weeks debating whether poetry counted as 'formal notice'. Legal finally ruled, 'Yes, but only if written in calligraphy and then presented as PowerPoint.'

Saying Bye-Buy

During a live earnings call, the CFO announced, 'I resign effective immediately.' Analysts thought it was a joke until he muted himself and joined the call again as a food delivery agent. Dalal Street upgraded the company to 'buy' because 'at least they're diversifying'.