Burg-er-Dil, Burg-er-Jigar

A Delhi burger chain goes public. Their prospectus proudly states: 'We've never made a profit, but our fries are supremely Instagrammable.'

Dalal Street eats it up. Literally. The IPO is oversubscribed 24 times over, the ticker symbol is 'FRY', and the CEO celebrates by serving artisanal ketchup shots and organic chutney while playing the song, 'Burg-er-dil, burg-er-jigar, dil mein jagaya aapne.'

Six months later, the company admits their revenue model was 'Hope'. The stock tanks. But the fries still look superb on social media, so that's a win.


Hathoda Matata

Dadaji's hardware store decides to IPO. The roadshow presentation includes a pie chart showing 'hammer sales' and 'nails sold to neighbours'.

Bankers clap politely, then price the shares at ₹18,000 each. On opening day, the ticker flashes green, Dadaji faints, and the family idiot becomes CFO. Analysts call it the 'Home Depot of Emotions'.

Only the Lonely

A social media app IPOs with the promise: 'We monetise loneliness'. Investors swoon. The app's revenue model? Selling ads between breakup posts. The IPO raises billions, the CEO buys a yacht named 'Engagement Metrics', and users discover their tears are now premium content.