At the great bar of the people

A Chinese president and an American president walk into the Great Bar of the People. The chandeliers tremble, bartenders salute, and the cocktail menu suddenly looks like a UN resolution.

The American orders a 'Freedom Fizz' - bourbon, soda and a splash of tariffs. The Chinese asks for a 'Silk Road Sour' - baijiu, rare earth garnish and a hint of wolf warrior diplomacy. The bartender, confused, asks if they'd like their drinks shaken or stirred. 'Neither,' says the American, 'we'll impose sanctions on ice.' 'Perfect,' replies the Chinese, 'we'll build our own ice cubes faster and cheaper.'

As the drinks arrive, the DJ starts spinning a remix of the 1995 track 'Kung Fu' by Ash. They both hit the dance floor, the crowd roars, unsure if it's a summit or a rave.


By midnight, the Great Bar of the People has become the Great Bar of the People's Republic of Disco. The presidents clink glasses, agree to disagree, and toast to the only treaty they can both sign: the eternal alliance of cocktails and tough guys.