Another corporate slogan is born

CEO: We need a new slogan. Something inspiring.

Marketing: How about 'Innovate. Execute. Elevate.'?

CEO: Too generic. Make it punchier.


Marketing: Alright, 'Be Bold. Think Big. Act Now.'

CEO: That's basically the same thing.

Marketing: Alright, how about 'Unleash Potential. Optimise Excellence. Empower Tomorrow.'

CEO: Brilliant! But what does it mean?

Marketing: Nothing. But it sounds like it does.

CEO: Perfect. Put it on everything.

Balance Sheeter
A senior manager is reviewing Ravi's performance.

Manager: Ravi, your numbers this quarter were puzzling. Your productivity was stellar. But every project you worked on mysteriously fell apart.

Ravi: I can explain! It's a strategic balance - if I'm too successful, I'll get promoted. But if I fail entirely, I'll get fired. I walk the fine line of 'indispensably questionable'.

Manager: I don't know whether to fire you or promote you.

Ravi: Exactly. And that's why I deserve a raise.

Stock Up on Phones

Ashish checks his stocks in the morning: Up 5%. 'Fantastic! I'm a financial genius.' Checks again in the afternoon: Down 7%. 'This market is irrational. Something's rigged!' Checks again at night: Back up 4%. 'I never doubted myself for a second!'

Next day, market crashes 30%. Ashish throws his phone in the Arabian Sea.