2026's 1st budget meeting

The CFO scheduled the first budget meeting of the year for 9 a.m., Jan 2nd. By 9.05, half the team was still 'working from home', meaning they were working from bed.

By 9.10, the CFO realised the projector was still showing last year's numbers. By 9.15, someone asked if Jan 2nd could be declared a national holiday. By 9.20, the CFO agreed. The meeting ended with unanimous approval: 'Budget postponed until morale improves.'

Snail Mail

On Monday, Jan 5th, everyone returned to office and opened their mail. The inbox read: You have 1,243 unread emails. By Jan 6th, employees had bravely deleted 1,242 of them. By Jan 7th, they realised the one email they kept was from 2018. By Jan 8th, they replied: 'Sorry for the late response.' By Jan 9th, the client replied: 'We already went bankrupt.' On Jan 10th, employees celebrated their first successful closure of the year.

Resolutionary Road

On Jan 2nd, HR proudly unveiled the 'Employee New Year Resolution Tracker' in Excel. By Jan 3rd, the sheet had 200 rows:

Row 1: Lose weight.

Row 2: Stop eating samosas at 4 pm.

Row 3: Stop lying in Excel.

By Jan 4th, the tracker mysteriously showed everyone had already achieved their goals. Turns out, someone added a formula: =IF(TODAY()