China is kicking US' ass in the robot waiter wars

By Matt Novak

America is getting crushed by China. Not in trade or weapons or any of those things that don't matter. We're losing the war of the Roseys. We need to close our gap with China when it comes to robotic servers. Sure, everybody's worried about the potential for World War III and the likelihood that both China and the US will each destroy the world's economy with massive corporate and government malfeasance. But we can't take our eye off what's really important: Getting served food by robots.

Humanoid robots are the future. They have been for over a century . But we're finally getting to a point where novelty is turning into practicality. And the clearest sign of any country's advancement in military technology is how rapidly its civilian technology is becoming. Last year's DARPA Robotics Challenge in Pomona, California was ostensibly about drilling holes with power tools and climbing steps. But it may as well have been about serving noodles and taking orders. Or shooting guns and digging foxholes, if we're being honest with ourselves. China and other near peer adversaries might accidentally start World War III at any moment. But even if I'll see nuclear war within my lifetime (which is a pretty safe bet), I'd like to see the benefits of the tech that delivered it while I'm still alive.

Which is to say we're all living in a preapocalyptic world where cute robots should be serving us all dumplings. Get your act together, America. There's clearly something broken in our tech-transfer chain if we can bomb people from halfway around the world via remote planes but can't get a Bloomin' Onion brought to us by a real life WALL-E. Call your congressperson, mail to your local newspaper, do whatever it takes.