Is coming back to India shameful? Man claims people expressed their sympathies to him after returning from West

An Indian man who returned to India after spending nearly a decade in the West has triggered an online discussion after claiming that people around him reacted to his decision with sympathy, treating it as a sign that things had not worked out abroad.

In a Reddit post titled “Why is returning to India seen as a shameful event?”, the man said he came back after deciding that a job offer in India was better than the opportunities he had overseas.

He wrote that after returning to his hometown, relatives and acquaintances approached him with comments such as “It doesn't work out for everyone” and “It happens,” implying that his move back to India was the result of failure rather than a personal choice.


The man also recalled receiving a call from a cousin with permanent residency in Canada, whom he had not spoken to in years, expressing sympathy over his return. At his workplace, he said colleagues whispered about another employee having an Overseas Citizen of India card and appeared to give that person special attention.

The Reddit user questioned why people feel the need to justify returning to India by mentioning foreign job offers or opportunities abroad. He expressed frustration over what he described as an obsession with overseas status and international careers.

Online reactions

The post drew widespread reactions from Reddit users, many of whom argued that Indian society often associates living abroad with prestige and success.

One user wrote that moving overseas is seen by many families not only as a career decision but also as a matter of social status. Another said people tend to assume that anyone returning to India has failed abroad instead of making a conscious decision to come back.

Several users claimed that people in India often romanticise Western countries without understanding the challenges of living abroad. Others criticised what they described as a superiority complex among some Indians with foreign citizenship or permanent residency status.

One commenter said there is a culture of subtle bragging around relatives or families whose children settle overseas, adding that such attitudes have existed for decades and contribute to the stigma attached to returning to India.

Another user said there is little room for nuance in these discussions, as returning from abroad is frequently viewed through the lens of failure rather than personal preference or career choice.