When ‘Work-Life Balance’ Sounds Good but Feels Out of Reach

It can even start well before day one. In the interview process, the task may appear daunting but within reach, and then the promise is reinforced: HR tells you about work-life balance as if it’s in the company’s DNA, not just something they say in the careers section.

At first, there’s no reason to doubt it. And then, almost before you know it, things start to tilt. A message comes in late at night. And another one comes in at first light. No one is necessarily telling you to do anything, but somehow it just doesn’t feel right to let it slide by. And that’s when the gray area starts to come in.

When staying in the loop is the norm


Work is no longer static. It is always there beside you - in your pocket, making your smartphone beep, looking at you through your laptop screen. Not even at night will the communication stop. One quick response, one small message.

As stated by many studies on PubMed, telepressure in the workplace is the need to respond to messages in a prompt manner, regardless of the time. And this kind of telepressure does not always come from management; it comes from within us.

None of us wants to lag behind, to look uncoordinated. And so we react. It does not seem like much initially. One late response is no big thing on its own. However, this will develop into a habit that is ingrained in the individual and becomes independent of any guidelines or regulations.

The study that appears in BMC Psychology highlights the way in which workers are aware of the difference between the values a firm promotes and its actual practice. If a company states that it supports a balance between work and personal life and then expects its employees to be available all day long, that discrepancy is not lost on them.

You begin checking your inbox more frequently, even when there is nothing pressing going on. You linger for a moment before completely signing off, a half-step between closed and open. There is a feeling that something might be coming, though nothing is.

Balance is not lost all at once. It slips away slowly, leaving you with a nagging feeling that you are a little bit “on,” half-dialed.

When the promise seems out of reach, the harder moment comes later, soft and whispered. When you want something, but it is not available, tension begins to create a gray area. It is a psychological promise, not a rule. It is a promise you cannot quite feel.

It can be seen from the BMC Psychology experiment that trust is shaken by any kind of breach of promise. People tend to question whether or not the organization keeps its promises. This does not necessarily mean that a conflict arises, but relationships with work get altered.

It can all happen through subtle interactions. Energy dips a little. Decisions take longer. Tasks that once felt simple begin to feel heavier.

What telepressure tells us is that if we are not able to disconnect ourselves completely from our work environment, we cannot truly relax because even when we do not have much work, we cannot get rid of the notion of it.

The focus is not on sleep but rather on the state of being neither awake nor asleep but somewhere between the two.

Before you know it, the list gets longer, and you begin to fantasize and struggle against exhaustion as time passes. In reality, the issue is not always deliberate; most companies do not purposely create this environment.

No one is ever really asked to perform at midnight; yet somehow it becomes the norm. It is at this point that the disconnect begins.

What balance really comes down to

Work-life balance is still as important as ever. Perhaps it is even more so. The difference is that it is not defined by policy or phrase; it is defined by reality.

The reality is quite simple when it comes to one defining factor: psychological detachment. In other words, the ability to step away from work without the urge to step back in. The reality is that when this is possible, the recovery is greater.

When it does not, even manageable work can feel draining. The issue is not always how much work there is. It is how far it follows you.

This is why two people in the same role can have completely different experiences. One feels free after hours. The other feels like the day never really ends.

At other times, the gap manifests itself in what we take for granted that everybody else knows, too. With regard to work-life balance, the fact is that at the end of the day, it is not a headline item, nor is it a checkbox. It is a feeling. You either have it or you don’t.