Recruiter asks for proof of rival offer, talks turn ugly, candidate wants to report it — advice pours in

Job offer negotiation advice: A job candidate shared a troubling recruiting experience on Reddit, asking for guidance after what they described as an unprofessional exchange with a recruiter at a major tech company.

Is It Normal for Recruiters to Ask for a Competing Offer Letter

According to the post shared on subreddit r/careerguidance, the candidate informed the recruiter that they had received a verbal offer from a competing company and shared compensation details to help “calibrate” expectations. Instead of continuing the discussion based on that information, the recruiter reportedly insisted on seeing the official offer letter as proof.

Verbal vs Written Job Offers: What Candidates Should Know

The candidate said they were uncomfortable sharing another company’s offer letter and asked whether this was standard practice, noting they had never been asked to provide such documentation in past roles. That’s when, the Reddit user claims, the conversation took a negative turn.


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Recruiter Etiquette: When Negotiations Cross Professional Lines

The recruiter allegedly responded with comments such as, “Then you should just go with them — why come here?” and repeatedly referred to the candidate as “just a fresh PhD grad” in what was described as a belittling tone, despite the candidate having prior industry experience.

When the candidate mentioned they were negotiating the competing offer and asked whether the current company could improve its package, the recruiter reportedly replied that they didn’t “see any incentive” for the other company to increase its offer since this one was lower. The conversation escalated further, with the recruiter allegedly telling the candidate they were “testing his patience.”

Should You Report a Recruiter to HR or Recruiting Leadership

Concerned, the candidate later raised the issue with the hiring manager and director. The Reddit user said, "I later mentioned this to the hiring manager/director, and they said their org doesn’t ask for other companies’ offer letters and tries to make candidates feel good — but the recruiter brushed that off (“they don’t make the offer”)."

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How to Handle Salary Negotiation Pressure From Recruiters

The candidate then turned to Reddit, asking whether it’s normal for recruiters to demand proof of competing offers, especially when the offer is still verbal, and whether this behavior reflects broader company culture or simply a problematic recruiter. They also asked whether it’s possible to report the incident to recruiting leadership, HR, or a candidate experience team without jeopardizing their candidacy.

Red Flags in the Hiring Process Every Candidate Should Watch For

In the comments, many users said they had never been required to provide a competing offer letter and described the recruiter’s behavior as unprofessional. Several suggested keeping all future communication in writing, requesting a different recruiter, or escalating concerns through appropriate channels if the company provides them. Others advised the candidate to evaluate whether they would feel comfortable joining a team after such an experience.

The post has since sparked broader discussion about recruiting etiquette, negotiation norms, and how candidates should respond when conversations cross professional lines.

FAQs

Is it normal for recruiters to ask for a competing offer letter?
Many commenters said they’ve never been asked to provide one, especially for a verbal offer.

Is it normal for recruiters to ask for a competing offer letter?
Many commenters said they’ve never been asked to provide one, especially for a verbal offer.