Psychology says the oldest person in a family who insists on small traditions may be protecting "belonging" more than routine

There are numerous instances of the oldest member of a family holding on to a custom that other generations dismiss as unnecessary and out of date, such as the seat they have at the dinner table every day, or the annual ceremony marking their birthday. The custom of having a certain food each Christmas might also fall into that category, or saying something particular whenever people gather for an occasion might seem trivial to someone else. However, those who study family psychology have a very different way of looking at what are referred to as rituals than at those considered simple routines. In fact, it is important to understand how psychology distinguishes rituals from routines, since routines are merely habitual practices, whereas rituals have symbolic significance to the group as a whole. Research published in PubMed shows several positive correlations between meaningful family rituals and confident parenting and child adjustment.

The high emotional valence of traditions is rooted in symbolism more often than in the actual practice of performing the ritual. When an older family member insists on performing a certain action during the holidays, it is unlikely that they are concerned about all the practicalities involved, and it serves as a visual sign of a family's unity as one community. Family traditions were later examined by other scientists in a review article available on PubMed, and according to the authors, the symbolic nature of traditions helps maintain positive emotional health.

Repetition gives families a stable structure during periods of change

Researchers who have explored identity formation in families often refer to rituals as stabilizing factors that help individuals maintain their sense of continuity even as interpersonal relations change, social roles shift, and other life changes occur. As reported in studies available on PubMed Central, family rituals contribute to feelings of membership in that group through a specific symbolic structure, which helps members recognize their place within the system. This is especially important during transitions such as growing up, moving somewhere else, breaking up, losing a loved one, or aging.


Psychologists have been exploring the phenomenon of self-continuity, which refers to the ability to feel oneself as part of one’s personal history. They found that continuity itself serves a significant psychological function in emotional well-being and meaning-making. As follows from the analysis provided in a PubMed review, temporal continuity allows individuals to maintain a stable self-image, and the same can be said for family rituals at the family level. For instance, eating together, celebrating a holiday, or doing other activities become a tiny but important reminder that the family as a coherent entity still exists despite its aging, disagreements, and life changes. This partly explains why elderly people adhere to certain rituals they have practiced for many years: they have the oldest recollections of these rituals and their meanings from earlier periods of family life.

Small traditions often survive because they reinforce identity repeatedly

Studies that have examined rituals within families and communities have found that repetition of symbolic actions promotes the identity of the group involved. According to articles in PubMed Central on the topic, rituals facilitate the development of common norms, emotional ties, and a sense of belonging through repeated performance. It does not matter how trivial the ritual seems; its repetition suggests that the group acknowledges it as significant, and this cycle can extend over generations rather quickly. A study on family mealtimes, published in PubMed Central, shows that the stability of ritual behavior depended heavily on the family's consistent structure.

The discontinuation of some rituals is usually immediately noticed by the family, since the repetitive pattern that previously defined them disappears. In a sociological analysis of ritual behavior published in PubMed Central, it is claimed that repeated emotionally charged interactions allow a group to establish its collective identity and cohesion. This cohesion within the family could be developed even by very subtle acts repeated over the years: a certain recipe, a toast, a call on holidays, or the exact order of events at gatherings. Therefore, insistence on the repetition of such acts by the oldest relative in the family may not be driven by nostalgia itself, but rather by a desire to avoid the loss of the social structure that has defined relations within the family for ages.