Psychology says the first 10 minutes of a date can shape how attracted you feel to someone - Here’s why

The experience of being on the first date is a strange mix of euphoria, nervousness and curiosity. Within minutes, you will know if you like the person you are having a date with. Perhaps the communication flows smoothly, you share jokes or just enjoy each other's company. Nevertheless, is such an experience capable of affecting attraction? Yes, studies have shown that it can. Scientists researching speed dating established that the first impressions created during brief interaction were predictors of future feelings, including willingness to see someone again and build a relationship. However, the research does not suggest that exactly 10 minutes determines whether two people will fall in love.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS CAN STAY WITH YOU

A major 2022 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences looked at three speed-dating studies involving 559 participants and more than 6,600 dates. Researchers Alexander Baxter, Jessica A. Maxwell, Karen L Bales, Eli J Finkel, Emily A Impett and Paul W Eastwick examined whether the feelings people reported during those first encounters could predict what happened later. The researchers found that initial impressions of a person's desirability and the unique feeling of compatibility between two people were especially important predictors of later romantic outcomes.


The analysis included more than 6,100 follow-up reports and found that early impressions were linked with later romantic interest, physical attraction, desire to know someone better and attempts to start a relationship. In everyday terms, that first conversation may leave you thinking, There is something about this person I like. That feeling does not guarantee a relationship, but it can influence what happens next.

FOUR TO 10 MINUTES CAN REVEAL A LOT

Another study by psychologists Natasha D Tidwell, Paul W Eastwick and Eli J Finkel examined people taking part in speed dating. Participants interacted with about 12 potential partners for four minutes each. The researchers found that perceived similarity was more strongly linked with initial romantic liking than actual similarity. In other words, it may matter less whether two people are objectively alike and more whether they quickly feel that they have something in common.

Research on 10-minute interactions also offers an interesting clue. In a study published in Evolution and Human Behavior, researchers K Grammer, K Kruck, A Juette and B Fink examined videotaped 10-minute encounters between strangers. They found that courtship-like nonverbal behavior during roughly minutes four through 10 was associated with women's reported interest. The finding suggests that attraction-related signals can become clearer as an interaction develops rather than appearing fully formed in the opening seconds.

YOUR BODY MAY JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Sometimes attraction is communicated without words. A 2016 PNAS study by Tanya Vacharkulksemsuk, Emily Reit, Poruz Khambatta, Paul W Eastwick, Eli J Finkel and Dana R Carney examined 144 speed dates. They found that more expansive body posture was associated with greater romantic appeal. In their study, each one-unit increase in coded postural expansiveness was associated with nearly twice the odds of receiving a 'yes' response.

According to a 2021 study conducted by Andrew Chang and his colleagues – Haley E Kragness, Wei Tsou, Dan J Bosnyak, Anja Thiede, and Laurel J Trainor - people’s small body movements while going on four-minute speed dates were observed. Interestingly, it was established that the level of synchrony in participants’ movements while listening to groovy music in the background was associated with greater romantic interest despite physical attractiveness.

Taken together, these studies suggest that the early part of a date can matter. Conversation, perceived similarity, body language and subtle coordination may all contribute to the feeling of attraction. Still, the first 10 minutes are not a crystal ball. They are simply the beginning of a process in which two people start discovering whether they connect.