People who are hiding something often use these 6 common phrases, here’s what they may mean

Most people assume that if someone is hiding something, they'll avoid eye contact, fidget or stumble over their words. While body language can sometimes offer clues, psychologists have long warned that there is no single behavior, or phrase, that reliably proves someone is being deceptive. In fact, people conceal information for many reasons that have nothing to do with lying. They may be protecting someone else's privacy, avoiding conflict, feeling ashamed or simply waiting for the right time to share something personal. Still, communication researchers have found that when people are under the cognitive and emotional strain of withholding information, their language can subtly change.

According to research on deception and interpersonal communication, people may become more evasive, offer unnecessary justifications or use distancing language to steer conversations away from uncomfortable topics. These phrases aren't evidence that someone is lying, but when they appear repeatedly alongside inconsistent stories or other behavioral changes, they can sometimes suggest a person is keeping something to themselves.

1. "Trust me."

Ironically, people don't usually ask for trust when it already exists. When someone repeatedly says, "Trust me," instead of providing a clear explanation, they may be trying to reassure you without offering additional information.


According to research by Professor Aldert Vrij, one of the world's leading deception researchers, truthful and deceptive people can both use reassuring language. However, relying on assurances instead of evidence may sometimes be a strategy to redirect attention away from further questioning.

The phrase alone doesn't indicate dishonesty, but it may encourage listeners to stop asking questions.

2. "You're overthinking it."

Sometimes people genuinely believe someone is worrying unnecessarily. Other times, this phrase can discourage further discussion by making the other person question their own concerns.

According to communication researchers, dismissing questions rather than addressing them can function as an avoidance strategy, particularly when someone feels uncomfortable discussing a topic. That doesn't necessarily mean they're hiding wrongdoing, they may simply want to avoid an emotionally difficult conversation.

3. "Why are you asking me that?"

Answering a question with another question isn't automatically suspicious.

However, according to Conversation Analysis, a field pioneered by sociologists Harvey Sacks, Emanuel Schegloff and Gail Jefferson, people sometimes delay answering sensitive questions by shifting attention to the question itself.

This gives them additional time to think while also changing the direction of the conversation.

4. "I don't remember."

Memory is naturally imperfect. However, saying "I don't remember" repeatedly about specific details can sometimes be a way to avoid giving information someone would rather not discuss.

According to the American Psychological Association, memory isn't a perfect recording of events, and forgetting is common. For that reason, investigators and psychologists caution against assuming poor memory equals deception.

The context, and whether the memory lapse seems genuine, is far more important than the phrase itself.

5. "That's not important."

When someone quickly dismisses a topic as unimportant, they may be attempting to decide what information deserves attention.

According to psychologist Paul Ekman's work on deception, people managing sensitive information sometimes try to redirect conversations rather than directly refuse to answer.

Again, this doesn't prove they're hiding something, but it may signal discomfort with the subject.

6. "Can we talk about something else?"

This is perhaps the clearest example of conversational avoidance.

People often change the subject because they're tired, stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, not necessarily because they're hiding a secret.

According to James J. Gross's research on emotion regulation, people frequently avoid conversations that trigger uncomfortable emotions as a way of reducing immediate stress.

If someone consistently redirects discussions around one particular topic, however, it may be worth respectfully asking whether there's something they'd rather discuss later.

What Psychology Actually Says About Hidden Secrets

Contrary to popular belief, psychologists caution against trying to "catch" deception based on a handful of words. According to deception researcher Aldert Vrij, there is no universal verbal or nonverbal cue that reliably identifies a lie. Instead, experts recommend looking for clusters of behaviors, inconsistencies over time and the broader context of a conversation.

Someone might say, "Trust me," because they're anxious. They might change the subject because they're protecting another person's privacy. Or they may genuinely not remember an event the way someone else does.

The healthiest approach is to avoid jumping to conclusions based on a single phrase. Open, respectful communication is far more reliable than attempting to decode isolated expressions. Psychology suggests that while language can offer clues about emotional discomfort or avoidance, it should never be treated as proof that someone is hiding something.

FAQs

Can certain phrases prove someone is hiding something?

No. Psychologists and deception researchers agree that no single phrase can reliably indicate someone is concealing information. Context and patterns of behavior matter far more.

Why do people avoid answering questions directly?

People may avoid direct answers because they're uncomfortable, embarrassed, protecting someone else's privacy or trying to avoid conflict, not necessarily because they're being dishonest.