Melinda French Gates has donated more than $600 million to women’s health; after her divorce from Bill Gates, the billionaire philanthropist shares the 10-minute self-care habit that helped her through life’s biggest transitions

Melinda French Gates has committed more than $600 million to women’s health over the past two years, building a philanthropic campaign focused on issues ranging from reproductive care and maternal health to menopause and mental health.

But despite the billions she has devoted to helping women and families, French Gates says one of the most valuable lessons she has learned in her own life is surprisingly simple: make time for yourself.

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The philanthropist and former Gates Foundation co-chair has opened up about self-care, motherhood, divorce and navigating major life changes in her 2025 book The Next Day: Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward. Her advice is particularly relevant to people who feel overwhelmed by work, family responsibilities or periods of uncertainty: put down the phone, find some quiet and give yourself even 10 minutes to breathe and reset.

What her divorce taught her about major transitions

French Gates also connects self-care with another major period of her life: her divorce from Bill Gates. The couple divorced in 2021 after 27 years of marriage. In The Next Day, French Gates describes the separation as one of the most difficult transitions she has experienced.

Rather than immediately rushing into a new chapter, she believes people should allow themselves time to process what has happened.

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“Don’t just leave and then jump to the next thing,” she said. “Take some time on the next day, the day after what you thought was the transition, to really think and feel and learn, because there’s so much growth that can come in a transition.”

She learned the value of self-care while raising three children

Long before French Gates was directing hundreds of millions of dollars toward women’s health, she was dealing with a much more personal challenge: finding time for herself while raising three children.

Her days involved carpools, childcare and the constant demands of motherhood. When her children were napping or early in the morning, she began to recognize that even a small amount of uninterrupted time could make a difference.

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At first, she was reluctant to prioritize herself. But eventually, French Gates realized that self-care was not about neglecting her responsibilities. It could actually help her handle them better.

“I want to tell everyone to take time in quiet,” she told Forbes.

Her 10-minute self-care advice

French Gates has suggested that people don't necessarily need an expensive wellness routine to take care of themselves. Instead, she recommends putting down the phone and taking 10 minutes every day.

The idea is particularly striking coming from someone whose life has involved enormous professional and philanthropic responsibilities. French Gates has had to balance motherhood with technology, advocacy, philanthropy, writing and entrepreneurship.

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French Gates says discomfort can mean you're growing

For French Gates, difficult transitions can be painful precisely because they force people to question the lives they have built. A major change can disrupt carefully made plans and leave people uncertain about their future.

But she does not necessarily see that uncertainty as something negative.

Instead, it can create an opportunity to reconsider priorities and discover a different direction.

“When transitions come—and they will come—we need to be ready to spend a bit of time in the clearings in our lives they create,” she explained in The Next Day. “After all, transitions are disruptive and disorienting. They lay waste to all our careful planning and force us to question our assumptions, our ambitions, even our very identities. But that, I’ve come to understand, is part of their magic.”

Why she wants people to let go of perfectionism

French Gates has also spoken about the danger of perfectionism.

Balancing philanthropy, advocacy, motherhood, writing and entrepreneurship requires accepting that not everything can be controlled.

That lesson appears to have become particularly important as she built her own philanthropic identity after decades of working alongside Bill Gates.

Her message is ultimately straightforward: when life changes, don't immediately try to fill the empty space. Give yourself time to understand it.

For a billionaire who has committed more than $600 million to women’s health, that may be one of French Gates’ most relatable lessons: sometimes taking care of yourself starts with something as simple as putting down the phone and allowing yourself 10 quiet minutes.