It's complicated: How mobile phones are ringing marital discords in Gujarat

On Sunday, the Abhayam 181 women's helpline in Gujarat attended to a distress call that shed light on a growing issue within households. A woman from a western locality in Ahmedabad reported domestic violence, accusing her husband of physical abuse following a heated argument. Upon investigation, the Abhayam team discovered a unique catalyst for the conflict—paranoia related to mobile phone usage, a TOI report stated.

The woman, as revealed by a counselor involved in the case, habitually scrutinized her husband's phone, delving into messages, social media posts, video history, and call logs. The counselor stated, "The woman reportedly would take her husband's phone after he went to bed and go through all his messages, social media posts, history of video consumption and call logs." This behavior, causing her sleep deprivation, resulted in morning confrontations over specific calls or posts.

Despite the husband's efforts to persuade her to seek psychological help, the situation persisted. The Abhayam team addressed the issue, emphasizing the unacceptability of domestic violence and advising the woman to seek help if feeling under duress.


This case is not an isolated incident. Data from the Abhayam helpline reveals a 2.5-fold increase in distress calls related to extramarital affairs over the past five years. With approximately 750 monthly calls from Gujarat, it stands as the third most common reason for helpline contact after domestic violence and harassment.

Notably, the helpline receives one or two cases daily involving spouses, predominantly working women, displaying paranoia over mobile phone contents. Falguni Patel, helpline coordinator, observed, "Today, phones are an extension of a person, and we often advise couples to develop trust so that they do not have to seek answers from mobile devices."

The coordinator also highlighted the impact of the pandemic, where the norm of working from home brought forth an increase in cases related to extramarital affairs. Dr. Hansal Bhachech, a city-based psychiatrist, explained the escalating role of mobile phones in relationship discord. "Spouses are installing software to know the location of their partners, or they mirror their phones to keep a tab on chats on platforms such as WhatsApp," he stated, emphasizing the need for trust rather than invasive monitoring.