Women should stop asking for permission and start asking for help, according to Namita Thapar, ED, Emcure Pharmaceuticals.
It’s a common joke that when faced with a tough decision, women ask for permission, men for forgiveness. Women, by nature, are more cautious while men tend to go in all guns blazing and apologise afterwards. According to Namita Thapar, executive director, Emcure Pharmaceuticals, this tendency could stem from a deep-rooted feeling of guilt.
“Women are great at time management but terrible at guilt management,” she told ETPanache. “A stay-at-home mom will feel guilty [to some degree] that they’re not working and a working one will feel guilty for missing their son’s PTA or maybe travelling while he’s unwell. Guilt is such an integral part of a women’s life.”
But Thapar no longer allows herself to feel guilty. The game-changer moment for her was becoming a mother. “When I had a child, I realised it’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t. So, might as well make peace with it and ask for help.”
According to Thapar, not enough women ask for help for fear of looking weaker or less driven or accomplished. “Why do we have to be superwomen and do it all?”
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Trust your support system “Men ask their wives to do things all the time — host this dinner, do this, do that — so why can’t we ask men to help when we are working,” she said, explaining how she made the switch from asking for permission to asking for help. “It’s okay if you’re not Superwoman, if you’re flawed. Most of us are.” Thapar believes that women who depend on their support system and ask for help outside the workplace do a better job of balancing life and managing their time.
Speaking from experience, she said, “Today, I ask everybody for help. I’ll ask my husband, ‘Can you go a bit late today because I need to make it in time for this meeting’ or I’ll ask my mother-in-law to take my son to the doctor because there is a travel I can’t reschedule. There’s no shame in asking but the asking has to be for a different purpose. Permission is not needed, help is.”
ET Women's Forum: Shikha Sharma, Diana Hayden, Aditi Mittal Reveal How To Prioritise Oneself
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Eminent women suggest what you should do to put yourself first.
In pic from left: (Shikha Sharma, Diana Hayden, Aditi Mittal)
Eminent women suggest what you should do to put yourself first.In pic from left: (Shikha Sharma, Diana Hayden, Aditi Mittal)
Shikha Sharma, Former MD, Axis Bank
My advice for women has always been, ‘Believe in yourself.’ Do not overcompensate by being aggressive or being like anybody else. You never win by playing someone else’s game. You only win by playing your own game. So, play to your strengths. Make sure you are learning every day.
Shikha Sharma, Former MD, Axis BankMy advice for women has always been, ‘Believe in yourself.’ Do not overcompensate by being aggressive or being like anybody else. You never win by playing someone e..
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Diana Hayden, Miss World 1997
To put yourself first, you need to change your thought process. It’s all in your head and that’s where it starts. Understand and truly get self-confident. You need to treat yourself well. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Diana Hayden, Miss World 1997To put yourself first, you need to change your thought process. It’s all in your head and that’s where it starts. Understand and truly get self-confident. You need to tre..
We need to learn to be a bit more selfish. We always tend to put others before us and I think we need to take the time out to pamper ourselves. Whether it’s going to the salon or going to watch a movie, do certain selfish things and schedule it. And also, choosing the right man to marry is important. While you can use your head and heart for other decisions, I would recommend going with your gut for this one.
Namita Thapar, Executive Director, Emcure PharmaceuticalsWe need to learn to be a bit more selfish. We always tend to put others before us and I think we need to take the time out to pamper ourselves..
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Namrata Joshipura, Founder, Joshipura Designs
Never feel guilty. As working women and mothers, we do our best. When my daughter was much younger, I would often feel guilty that I’m either in the office or when I was with her, I would feel guilty about not being in the office. Today, I feel I gave my child, my home, and my work as much time as each needed. I did and am doing my best.
Namrata Joshipura, Founder, Joshipura DesignsNever feel guilty. As working women and mothers, we do our best. When my daughter was much younger, I would often feel guilty that I’m either in the offic..
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Rashmi Shukla, ADGP, Maharashtra Police
If you want to maintain a balance (between work and life), be mentally prepared to accept responsibilities. In my case, I had tremendous support from my late husband. What is important is to know your limitations. Once you know your limitations, they can become your strengths.
Rashmi Shukla, ADGP, Maharashtra PoliceIf you want to maintain a balance (between work and life), be mentally prepared to accept responsibilities. In my case, I had tremendous support from my late hu..
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Aditi Mittal, Comedian
Women are often conditioned to think that the needs of others come before their own. So, put yourself first. We normally put other people first at the cost of ourselves. Like the emergency mask on the flight, you need to put yours on first before you help the child. That’s so you can breathe enough before you empower the child.
Aditi Mittal, ComedianWomen are often conditioned to think that the needs of others come before their own. So, put yourself first. We normally put other people first at the cost of ourselves. Like th..
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Fawzia Koofi, Member of Parliament, Afghanistan
The first thing is setting goals for yourself. And the second thing is to stay committed to what you believe in. Often for women, it’s not easy to stick to what they believe in and what they want to achieve. During times like these, you need to keep your focus.
Fawzia Koofi, Member of Parliament, AfghanistanThe first thing is setting goals for yourself. And the second thing is to stay committed to what you believe in. Often for women, it’s not easy to stick..
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Vidya Shah CEO, EdelGive Foundation
It is this feeling of ‘I am no different’ and seeing humanity in yourself, not just as a woman but as a person. We are no different from anybody else, so I don’t know why we (women) get into the thing that I’m a woman so I won’t be able to do this or won’t be able to access that. That is vital. A lot of us on the panel were raised in ordinary homes but we were raised to believe that we are no different.
Vidya Shah CEO, EdelGive FoundationIt is this feeling of ‘I am no different’ and seeing humanity in yourself, not just as a woman but as a person. We are no different from anybody else, so I don’t kn..
