Who should pay on a first date? Man asks to split first-date bill, Bengaluru woman says ‘game over’; Pune techie recalls how his love story began

Who should pay on a first date? The question has sparked fresh debate online after a Bengaluru woman called it an "ick" when a man asked her to split the bill. A Pune-based techie offered a different perspective by recalling how his now-wife paid for their first date after he forgot his wallet. His account of how the relationship unfolded over three dates and marriage added a heartwarming twist to the conversation.

Bengaluru woman calls splitting the first-date bill an ‘ick’

A Bengaluru-based woman, Aastha Pal, reignited the discussion after sharing her reaction to a man asking her to split the bill on their first date. In her post, she said the request gave her the “ick” and questioned why he would ask her out again when, in her view, it was already "game over".

Pal specifically took issue with the man bringing out his GPay scanner to divide the expense. Her post drew reactions from social media users, with the discussion turning to expectations around dating, money and who should pay when two people meet for the first time.

Pune techie recalls forgetting his wallet on first date with now-wife

Amid the debate, Pune-based techie Kunal Gandhi shared a personal experience that offered a different perspective. He recalled that his first date with his now-wife took place at a cafe, but he had forgotten his wallet. He also did not have a smartphone to make a UPI payment, which had only recently been introduced at the time. His date ended up paying the bill. Gandhi said their next meeting was a walking date, during which he apologised for what had happened and tried to repay her. However, she refused to accept the money.

By their third date, Gandhi said, they knew the relationship was turning into something beautiful. Ten years later, the couple still go on coffee dates, and his wife continues to pay for them. Looking back, he said he was glad she had not judged him because of what happened on their first date.

Internet asks how Gandhi’s wife viewed their first date

Gandhi’s story prompted one user to ask whether he had ever discussed the incident with his wife and found out what she thought when she had to pay the bill. The user pointed out that people often form opinions about others based on such experiences. Responding to the question, Gandhi said that it was not even something his wife had thought about.

Another user shared that she had dated her husband for five years before they married and that they had always taken turns paying for dates, a practice they continued after marriage. She argued that paying should not automatically be the man’s responsibility and said couples could alternate or split bills depending on their financial circumstances.

Netizens distinguish between forgetting a wallet and asking to split

Not everyone saw Gandhi’s experience as directly comparable to Pal’s situation. One commenter pointed out that he had forgotten his wallet, whereas the man in Pal’s post had specifically asked to split the bill. Another user echoed the distinction, saying that being unable to pay because of a forgotten wallet was different from explicitly requesting to divide the bill on a first date.

A separate commenter shared a similar experience of being unable to pay and ordering what they described as the worst item on the menu: a mega-sized serving of roasted broccoli. They said there had been no judgement and added that they were now happily married.