Whatever irritates Americans most

So in the US, they have a poll to find out which word or phrase irritates most Americans the most. This not being a social media platform, we shall refrain from accompanying our introductory sentence with an ‘eyes-rolling’ emoji. Instead, with customary grace and tradition that we are known offand online for, we shall react with, ‘Whatever’. As it turns out, matching our interest level in this poll exercise conducted by the Marist College — which happens to be in the town of Poughkeepsie (which, interestingly is pronounced ‘pekip-see’) in the state of New York — the winning word is, ‘Whatever’. It has defended its title from last year, with ‘No offence, but’ creeping up behind it. Whatever.

‘Whatever’ always has been a tricky, off-kilter word. As a word to describe freedom — ‘Do whatever you feel like’ — it’s expansive. Then to emphasise ‘what’ in an irritated tone — ‘Whatever has happened to your appetite?’ — it condenses emotion. In the sense of ‘no matter what’, we have ‘Whatever gets you through the night, it’s alright’. But the reason Americans love to hate the word so much is because it is the word that captures the dismissive shrug, the nonchalant riposte to, ‘Ok, I’m jumping off the roof if you don’t kiss me’. Or the perfect reply to ‘Look, we in the US of A have conducted a poll in which we find ‘Whatever’ most irritating’: Whatever.