‘What if I'd made different choices?’: 22-year-old techie compares his life with childhood friend earning Rs 35 LPA

Different people measure success differently. For some, its about how much money they are earning and accumulating, for others, can be how many trips they take in a year. Sometimes, it can be difficult to compare milestones, especially when someone quite close to you seems to be moving ahead, while you are struggling. A 22-year-old techie on social media opened up about how he feels after seeing his childhood friend doing well and earning Rs 35 LPA.

Techie compares his life with childhood friend

In a post on X, Gandharva recalled how he and his childhood friend had performed almost equally well in their Class 10 examinations. Six years later, however, their lives look very different. While his friend is earning Rs 35 LPA, Gandharva admitted that he is still trying to figure out his own path. “My childhood friend and I got almost the same marks in Class 10,” he wrote, before pointing out the difference between their circumstances today. “Same starting line. Same age. Two completely different realities,” he added.

For Gandharva, the contrast is not simply about the salary his friend earns. It is also about looking back at a time when neither of them knew how their lives would unfold. As he put it, they were “just two kids who had no idea how differently our lives would turn out”.

‘I'm genuinely happy for him’: The regret behind comparing lives

Gandharva made it clear that he was not unhappy about his friend's achievements. Instead, the difficult part is reconciling his happiness for someone he grew up with and the questions his success raises about his own journey. “I'm genuinely happy for him,” he wrote. Yet, he admitted that there are days when he wonders what his life might have looked like had he made different decisions.

“Some days, I can't help wondering what my life could've been if I'd made different choices,” Gandharva shared. That question forms the emotional centre of his post. When someone who once stood beside you reaches a milestone you are still working towards, it can prompt you to revisit your own decisions and wonder whether a different route might have led somewhere else.

‘The regret, the self-doubt, the endless applications’

Gandharva also described the less visible side of trying to establish himself while watching people his age move forward. He listed the challenges that have accompanied his journey, from repeated job applications to competitive examinations and the self-doubt that can follow when progress feels slow. “The regret. The self-doubt. The endless applications. The competitive exams,” he wrote, capturing the pressure of trying to find direction while others appear to have settled into their careers.

He also spoke about the loneliness that can come with this experience. According to Gandharva, there may be “no applause” or reassurance, and no one to tell you that you are doing okay. “Just you, your mistakes, and the responsibility of building a life you're no longer satisfied with,” he wrote. His words reflect the uncertainty of a stage in life when career choices can feel consequential, while the results of those choices are not always immediately visible.

‘Some battles are the hardest’

Gandharva clarified that he was not seeking sympathy. Rather, he wanted to describe what it feels like to keep trying when it seems that everyone else has already worked things out. “I'm not looking for sympathy,” he wrote, explaining that he was simply sharing the experience of being the person who is still searching for direction while others seem to have found theirs.

He ended his post with a thought about why comparisons with childhood friends can feel particularly difficult. “Some battles are hardest when the person you're comparing yourself to is someone who started right beside you,” he wrote. Gandharva offered more context about why the two childhood friends ended up on different paths. He explained that his friend had a clear idea of what he wanted to pursue after Class 10, while he was still trying to understand what he wanted from life.

He recalled scoring 85% in the examination and feeling that he had achieved something significant. At the time, however, he did not fully understand how much more he needed to learn, the decisions that lay ahead or the preparation required for his future. While his friend had a goal and worked towards it, Gandharva admitted that he was still figuring out what having a goal even meant.

He wished he had realised sooner that performing well in one examination was not the same as planning for the future. “Sometimes, the regret isn't just about making the wrong choices. It's about not knowing which choices mattered in the first place,” he added.

Netizens relate to the techie's struggle

Gandharva's post also prompted responses from users who related to the pressure of comparing their progress with that of people around them. One user offered a brief but poignant observation: “Some battles are meant to be fought alone.” Another expressed solidarity with the techie, writing, “I feel you broo. Going through the same phase. But I'm sure I'll be very proud of myself when I get out of it.”

A different user reflected on how comparing academic performance with a select group of classmates had affected their confidence. They wrote that their class had 60 students, around 10 of whom performed better academically, while the others did not. Despite this, they said they focused only on those 10 students and ended up feeling inferior to them.

The same commenter also warned that comparing oneself with others can contribute to anxiety and depression, highlighting how focusing on people who appear to be doing better can overshadow one's own progress.