Tip from Vani Kola: 3 soft skills needed to have hard talks with entrepreneurs

Vani Kola, MD, Kalaari Capital, shares her tips to make difficult conversations easier for entrepreneurs.

Conversation is an art. More so, one where a difficult issue must be addressed. Kalaari Capital’s Vani Kola ran an impromptu poll on Twitter some time back about having difficult conversations at work.

Of the respondents, 36 per cent said that their most difficult conversation is with their employees, 34 per cent said it is with their co-founders and 30 per cent said it is with their board of directors.


“Situations like changing the responsibilities of a co-founder when the organisation scales, firing an employee who is consistently not performing, having a conversation with an investor who is placing unreasonable demands or a board meeting with no consensus, are quite common,” Kola wrote.

She added that given that the average age of technology entrepreneurs in India is 28 years, they may have limited experience in managing high-stress situations diplomatically.



For successful entrepreneurs to become successful leaders, learning the art of managing a tough conversation is critical. With the right tools and training, like any other soft skill, this too can be learned. A couple of pointers to this effect shared by Kola include:

Communicate for collaboration
Do not begin a difficult c onvers ation on a combative note or to treat it like a debate or a trial. Learn from the diplomats: ‘seek to understand the other person’s concerns and priorities to harmonise interests’.

Develop your EQ
Analyse what’s the root of one’s disproportionate reaction to a situation, what are the non-verbal cues you should pay attention to and how is your tone impacting the conversation. Increased self-awareness is key here.

Timing and environment
Understand when the moment is ripe for a tough conversation and the environment is psychologically safe for all parties involved.