'They want you to do well, just not too well': Gurgaon-based CEO's take on friendship and success sparks debate online

A promotion, a startup idea, a career switch, a bold investment. Most people assume the toughest part is making the decision. But sometimes, the bigger challenge comes after sharing it with the people closest to you. A recent post by a Gurgaon-based CEO has sparked a debate online by suggesting that friends, relatives, and peers may not always be the best source of advice when your success could change the balance between you.

Gurgaon-based CEO Jasveer Singh, co-founder of Knot Dating, recently shared his thoughts on human psychology and success in a post on X. According to Singh, people should be cautious about seeking advice on major life decisions from friends, relatives, and peers. He argued that people from similar backgrounds often find themselves competing, even if that competition is unspoken. In his view, when two individuals start from a similar place in life, one person's success can unintentionally create comparisons that others find uncomfortable.

Singh suggested that advice is "rarely objective" when someone's achievements could alter their standing within a social hierarchy. He claimed that people often do not fear an idea itself, but rather what happens if that idea succeeds.

Why do strangers seem more supportive?

One of the central themes of Singh's post was the contrast between strangers and close acquaintances. He described it as one of the most fascinating aspects of human psychology, questioning why strangers often cheer for someone's success while people within their immediate circles remain silent.


According to Singh, strangers are able to support freely because they do not see themselves in direct competition. There is no comparison, no threat, and no personal stake involved. As a result, encouragement comes more naturally. By contrast, he argued that close friends and peers may struggle with the implications of another person's success because it forces comparisons with their own choices and achievements.

The Instagram story example

To illustrate his point, Singh pointed to social media behaviour. He observed that many people notice their close contacts consistently viewing their Instagram stories but rarely liking or responding to them. In his interpretation, some people are not necessarily watching to celebrate milestones but to measure progress.

He suggested that silence is not always rooted in hostility. Instead, it can stem from self-preservation when someone else's achievements trigger uncomfortable comparisons.

The startup advice example

Singh also shared a hypothetical scenario involving entrepreneurship. He described a person with a startup idea who turns to friends for feedback. The response, he said, often includes warnings that the idea is too risky, the timing is wrong, or the individual lacks sufficient experience. According to Singh, these reactions may not always be based purely on an assessment of the business idea itself. Sometimes, he argued, they are influenced by concerns about what success might mean for existing relationships and comparisons.

If the venture succeeds, he noted, the difference in outcomes becomes visible. That possibility can lead some people, consciously or unconsciously, to encourage safer choices that keep everyone on similar ground.

Human nature and success

Singh stressed that he does not view this behaviour as cruelty. Instead, he described it as a natural human tendency that emerges when personal stakes feel involved. His broader message was that people should think carefully about whom they seek advice from, particularly when making major life decisions. He concluded that asking a competitor for guidance can be one of the costliest mistakes because the advice may be influenced by factors beyond the merits of the decision itself.

Internet reacts

The post triggered a lively discussion in the comments. One user called it a “very interesting perspective” and asked who people should seek advice from instead. Responding to the question, Jasveer Singh said growth requires two kinds of people: someone “far below your level” who genuinely admires and supports you without feeling threatened, and someone “far ahead of you” who has already achieved what you're trying to accomplish. Such mentors, he argued, are not competitors and can therefore offer honest guidance “without an agenda.” He added that peers, batchmates, and old friends may mean well, but often cannot provide “clean advice” because the competition is too close and emotions are too intertwined.

Others related to the observation. One user remarked that while it does not apply to everyone, they had “definitely seen this happen.” Another shared that the people who discouraged them the most were often those closest to them.