The real Greek tragedy

Dear Dr D
We did everything for the world. We (specifically Herodotus and Thucydides) invented history. We (Aeschylus, Sophocles, Euripides) invented drama. We (Aristophanes) invented comedy. Socrates invented reasoning and a man from your times called Alfred North Whitehead said all philosophy was merely following the footsteps of Plato.

Science, mathematics, sculpture. All of it, Doc. Pythagoras, Euclid, Phidias. Should we go on naming names when it is clear that from A (Agamemnon) to Z (Zeno) the world owes us ancient Greeks everything that is civilised?

But today, the name of Greece is mud. Oh the shame. To hear it juxtaposed with such words as "default" (whatever that is) would have made us roll in our graves, had we not been burnt, as most of you are there in India (a name which a Greek gave you). But our immortal souls exist, Doc.

From the distant past we beseech you to hear our anguish. Do not the weight of our mighty achievements suffice for the world to give beloved Greece its "bailout" (whatever that is)?

Aristotle invented logic. Each time someone uses the word "therefore" Greece should get the credit (and some cash). Why do the bankers of the world, the wretched ingrates, then harass Greece so? Please tell.

Yours Aeschylus, Aesop, Agamemnon etc to Zeno.



Dear (and dead) A to Z

I have great respect for your achievements but as we say in India (whose name comes not from Indika but Sindhu) thoda zyada ho gaya. You didn't invent it all. You contributed to it. As did we. You don't own it. We all do. Logic, mathematics, astronomy, theatre. All sprang up independently at various times across the world, including in India and China. Plato was a contemporary of the Buddha and their concerns — about the nature of the universe and of the soul — are also similar.

There is another similarity between India and Greece — we are both nations of tax thieves. Instead of hectoring the world, you should consider asking your fellow Greeks to pay their dues and everyone will be happy. Except the philosophers, who will find something else to whine about.
He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients.)

(STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.)