The parent bond: Dr. D tells Ivanka Trump what went wrong with her Sunday morning tweet

Dear Dr D,

I tweeted this photo of my shoo shweet bebu. I said “My <3! #SundayMorning”.

My ♥️! #SundayMorning pic.twitter.com/CN5iXutE5Q

— Ivanka Trump (@IvankaTrump) May 27, 2018

I was trying to communicate three things:

1) This was my son who is less than 3 years old
2) It was Sunday morning and
3) … actually I’m not sure what the third thing is! Anyway, I got lots of retweets (woot ! woot !), but the strange thing is: they were accompanied by people talking about THIS story.

“New data reviewed by The New York Times shows that more than 700 children have been taken from adults claiming to be their parents since October, including more than 100 children under the age of 4. The data was prepared by the Office of Refugee Resettlement, a division of the Department of Health and Human Services that takes custody of children who have been removed from migrant parents.”

WTF? Why are they ruining my family moments!!?? What’s the connection here? Pray tell.

Ivanka,
Trump Tower

Dear Ivanka,

I would have said that you seem to be unaware and insensitive, especially about how and when to relate with family and that this is unusual. However, I was reviewing what your father has said about you in the past, including:

- “Don’t you think my daughter’s hot? She’s hot, right?”
- “It’s okay to call her a piece of ass.”
- “She does have a very nice figure. I’ve said that if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

Your father compared you to porn star Stormy Daniels, while sleeping with her. I suppose no more need be said than you are your father’s daughter.

*STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.