The miracle of Nitish not of Nazareth

On the holy day of Good Governance Day, let us praise a miracle being sought: wine turned into milk. Well, ‘wine (and beer)’ as used in liquor vends across India to denote all alcohol. Bihar’s teetotalitarian chief minister Nitish Kumar’s plan to run his state dry from April 2016 has drawn criticism from liquor shop owners who understandably see loss of libation as loss of livelihood. To calm them down, Nitish Not of Nazareth has now offered liquor vendors the option of selling milk and milk products in their soon-to-be-erstwhile booze shops. This is unlikely to offer succour to anyone, save the Phantom, the ghost-who-walks, known to walk into a bar and order milk for himself and his dog.

The Bihar government has been tight-lipped about where it stands on Eggnog, White Russian and other milk-based alcoholic drinks. It has also been mum about the fate of those who are lactose-intolerant. One also needs to know whether these planned milk parlours will be able to serve bhang thandai, arguably the world’s — and certainly Bihar’s — favourite cannabis-based beverage. The Bihar State Milk Cooperative Federation is as pleased as punch: a drink that, incidentally, gets its name from the Hindi ‘panch’ to signify its five ingredients, one of them being alcohol. But will the Daruwalas agree to become Doodh Dudes? Watch this milky bar.