The 'chowkidar' tale of woe, impersonation

To paraphrase W S Gilbert’s line with a topical twist, “When constabulary duty’s to be done,/ The chowkidar’s job is not a happy one.” Even as Prime Minister Narendra Modi, having declared himself the watchman of the nation, has launched his Main Bhi Chowkidar campaign soliciting recruitment for the job among the lay citizenry, a clarion call that according to BJP sources has already received over 2.5 million positive responses, the Centre of Indian Trade Unions (Citu) has appealed to the Election Commission (EC) to prohibit parties from using the word ‘chowkidar’ for political purposes, on the ground that while real-life chowkidars are “sufferers of economic and social injustice”, their name has been “usurped for electoral propaganda”.

Along comes India’s first Lokpal, a chowkidar of chowkidars, mandated to ponder, who will guard us from the guards? Standing on guard duty is no simple job. Consider the serviceman who, posted as a sentry, was instructed to ask “Friend or foe?” to anyone who approached, and when the response was “Friend”, to allow the person to enter. Playing a prank on him, a comrade-in-arms presented himself, and when the ‘Friend-foe?’ catechism was put to him, responded with “Foe”. Flummoxed, the sentry expostulated, “Yeh pho-pho kya hai? Bolo ‘Friend’ aur andar aao!”