Superstar Rajinikanth seeks Dr. D's advice
Dear Dr. D, why were so many needed at the ISL? I, alone, could have tackled, dribbled and free-kicked.

Doc
I am writing to you, but really I am writing to me. There isn’t a problem I cannot solve myself, with my mind, my body and my soul. But some things are just odd.
I was at something called ISL the other day. You may know it: Indians, Brazilians, Europeans, many of them — Pele, Zico, Henry — as famous around the world as me. When I was in Class 5.
These gents then broke into two groups of 11 and, chaperoned by a referee, proceeded to try and knock the ball between the goal posts at either end. Unsuccessfully for the most part, I might add. The whole thing seemed like a gigantic build up, a lot of fondling and caressing not leading to release, if you know what I mean — the balls were just not going through the posts. And this, the scoring of goals, seemed to me the entire point of the 90 minute exercise.
My thought was: Why all the huffing and puffing? Why were so many needed? I could have, alone, done the running, tackling, dribbling, fouling, free-kicking, cornering, refereeing, lines-manning. And saving and scoring. It might have been more entertainment than what was on offer. I would have scored about 100 or so. In the first three minutes. And then people could all have gone home to watch one of my movie reruns. Why did they not? That is what I have been thinking about. I cannot find a satisfactory answer. Can you, Doc?
Superstar R
Dear R
I thought up this one. ‘Knock knock’ ‘Who’s there?’ ‘Rajinikanth’ ‘Go away, imposter. There’s nothing Rajini can’t do.’
STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.
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