Steve Smith asks Dr. D: Why did I do what I did at the peak of my career?

Dear Dr D,

I write to you in disgrace. Till last week I was the most respected cricket player in the world. Forget your Kohli and Tendulkar and the lot. Have a look purely at the record. I am called the new Bradman and that is not an exaggeration.

You Indians like averages. Mine is over 60. Tendulkar’s was only over 50. I score a century once every three matches. He scored one once every four. I am demonstrably, statistically, clearly the best player since Bradman. There’s no dispute about that. So why did I do what I did, Doc? That’s what I’m writing to you for. Why would a man at the peak of his fame, at the top of his game, at the height of his powers throw it all away as I have done?


There were only two possibilities when I asked my player to tamper and cheat. He would be found out or he wouldn’t be. And it wasn’t even in my hands. I had no control over how well he would hide his actions. There were 30 cameras on us. Of course he would be caught. And he was. And here I am, flying back in disgrace and dismissal. Why did I do this?

From left: Steve Smith, David Warner, and Cameron Bancroft. (Image: AFP)

S Smith,
Melbourne

Dear S Smith,

The words for a cricket team’s leader are ‘captain’ and ‘skipper’. They are both nautical terms and that is not a coincidence. There is a solemn responsibility to the vessel and the crew. Seniority and playing talent, more than wisdom, usually determine captaincy in cricket. That is how you got yours but that is the wrong measure. Socrates said one does not elect a ship’s captain by popularity.

Steve Smith. (Image: Reuters)

Tendulkar, who almost never captained India, knew his limitations.

You don’t.

STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.