Six ways to keep jealousy at bay

To be successful and content in life, it’s important to have a sense of self-worth and be secure in your achievements

A little envy is probably harmless, too much of the emotion can have serious health implications. “Secure people might be the opposite of envious folks,” says Scott Bea, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic. “When people are jealous, they often over-think and try to over-control circumstances.” There are certain behaviours we can all practice in order to eliminate the green monster from our lives.

Below are the habits of people who are secure with themselves, as well as simple solutions to squash envy when it starts to creep in:

Surround yourself with trustworthy people

This may sound like a given, but it’s still important to note. We are directly influenced by our environment — and that includes the people around us, Bea says. If you’re in good company, your emotions are, too.

Have a high sense of self-worth

The hallmark trait of being secure with yourself is loving who you are, Bea says. If you’re comfortable with yourself and have high selfesteem, you don’t feel envious of another person’s circumstances or relationships.

Celebrate others’ successes

Whether your co-worker got a promotion or your best friend got engaged, it’s important to remember that their story isn’t your story. “One person’s success doesn’t mean you’re failing,” says Richard Smith, PhD, a social emotion researcher and psychology professor at the University of Kentucky.

Don’t seek approval from other people

In his book Embracing Envy: Finding the Spiritual Treasure in Our Most Shameful Emotion, author Josh Gressel dives into our desire to make others want what we have. We procure a sense of selfsatisfaction when someone else is envious of our life. However, as Gressel points out, this behaviour is laced with insecurity — and that instant gratification won’t last very long.

Don’t focus on labels

This goes for your own categorisations and the labels of others, Bea says. “Personally, I get rid of all the trappings of success or status,” he says. “I think sometimes ambition is driven by insecurity.” In other words? You’re more than your title or the awards on your shelf.

Don’t compare themselves to others

As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” If you’re constantly stacking up your life against someone else’s, chances are you’ll find something to nitpick. Instead, just plainly fixate on the positives — in your life and in the lives of others.