Sherlock seeks Dr D's advice on the Indrani Mukherjea-Sheena Bora case

Dear Dr D

We write to you about our findings in the matter of the Indrani and Sheena affair. Our investigations show that there is little doubt about who did it. We declare the media guilty. They have committed first degree murder of the news, after third degree torture of viewers.

Yes, the anchor did it. But the breathless reporter aided and the reckless producer abet ted. We urge you to examine the evidence (caution: objectionable material) by tuning to the nearest news channel. Yes, it's stomach-churning, isn't it? How could they have been so cruel? So heartless? Did they have no pity, no mercy on the unsuspecting audience to unload such pap on them? No, the wild-eyed frenzy definitely shows the anchors were pre-medicated.

Our only question to you is: would you please validate our findings?

Yours

Messrs Poirot, Marple & Sherlock

Dear Poirot, Marple,

She... — May I just call you PMS?

Your findings, though accurate, have been known for some time now. Indeed, they are incomplete. I also recommend a lesser charge against many viewers. They are guilty of being complicit in consuming this arrant nonsense passing for serious reportage.

He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients.)

STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.